Sunday, April 29, 2012

Silly Selfish Me

It's funny how we can convince ourselves that we should do/say something, thinking God has told us to do so.  But really, it's just our own selfish ambitions and vain conceit driving us.  I did that yesterday.  I was so sure that God needed my help, my words, my opinion so accomplish what I wanted.  Never did I consider that what I wanted, and selfishly prayed for, might not be what HE wanted.  And so I said some foolish things, upset someone I care deeply about, and learned a valuable lesson.  It's not any earth-shattering lesson, but one I had lost sight of: God doesn't work on our time, or in the way we want/expect.  But that doesn't mean he's not at work; it doesn't mean he isn't answering our prayers, the ones that line up with HIS will.  Which leads me to another basic principle: we can pray for good things, but those things might not be in God' plan.  So we're not going to get our way.  And that's ok.  Because God knows better than we do, and his plan is best.  I just have to learn to let go of my selfish desires and be content with God's perfect plan.  You would think that perfection would be the preferred plan, but I have to tell you, I'd still like for God to make things go the way I want.  I think we all would, if we were honest.  But I am thankful that God isn't manipulated by my selfishness, that he doesn't cave simply because I whine and complain.  He is always faithful, always constant, always consistent.  Which is more than I can say for myself!
And after yesterday's fiasco, I believe it's time for the chocolate fast to be over.  It has fulfilled it's original purpose, but I had foolishly morphed it into something selfish (are we sensing a pattern here??), again trying to manipulate God into doing what I wanted, while paying no attention to what he was already doing, answering the unselfish part of my prayer.    This isn't exactly the way I had envisioned it ending, but maybe I should spend a little less time envisioning my plans succeeding, and spend some more time getting my plans in line with God's plan. 

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