Confessions

Well, it's been awhile!  And just in case you've missed it on facebook, I have a second blog about our adoption: heartswideopen-merissayusko.  Please check it out if you haven't already.  Anyway, back to this post...
This is not really the kind of blog I prefer to write.  You see, I do not like to admit when I am wrong.  I don't actually know anyone who does, but I really, REALLY despise it.  And that, my friends, is the very heart of the problem.  Today someone kindly (and I do mean that!) drew my attention to a glaring sin in my life.  I knew it was there, of course, and I have tried to curb it in other areas, but not in this one.  See, I have this giant character flaw that thinks that the way I would do something is naturally better than the way anyone else would do it.  It's hard for me to let someone else do something, because they might not do it the way I would, i.e. do as good of a job as I would.  In every situation, I seem to think that I can always do a better job, even if that's not necessarily true.  So I find myself picking apart everything, thinking about how I would do it, what's wrong with the way the other person did it, and how much better it would be if they just agreed with me, or did it my way.  And most of the time, no one ever knows.  No one but me and Jesus.  So to those of you I have mentally judged or criticized, I am sorry.  (Now I know that if I were you, reading this, I'd be thinking, "Oh, has she ever done that to me??" and get all paranoid.  So please don't do that.  If you really want to know, ask me, and I will be humble enough to answer honestly.)  Because humility is the answer to pride, which needs to be destroyed in me before it destroys me.